林俊傑-害怕

我突然覺得有點怕
爱跟生活的一切
你以為我知道怎么拆開
我们的想法落差
我的爱 是說停不能停
已經弄的不能說是曾經
也可說出我是錯的 爱未曾变成真的
也没藏到多少你需要的爱
我不再 去执拙我是谁
我是我在夜裏掉的眼淚
也可說我看不開的 為你我能做的
竟还没讓你相信是爱情 左右你我
而哭泣都是因為爱 也逼自己不掉淚
讓往日不只是有你 这網裏我也撐着 拼了命的守着

Power of Love Overcomes Fear

there are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are...and if the relationship is going right those differences surface...the issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance or kill the relationship..apparently we're doing really at the moment..really love it when my silly girl who calls back to reassure me..:)

empathy...by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself...as long as we remind one another the virtue of empathy..and when the differences are known we must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both...

Fear and Love cannot occupy the same place...its true we both lost our bearings when the r/s ended momentarily...taught us to realise that love can be lost, but the journey does not end there...i will do my best to help both of us walk this path again...i expect nothing in return at all...just let me learn to love unconditionally...

Reveal Myself

often i get feedback from people around me, there's always a trend to the things i've heard..that is a bad rep for being closed-off when it comes to discussing feelings..trust takes time and effort, is easily broken and hard to restore..trust allows both of parties to reveal who you really are...in spite of all the tricks we use to try and impress someone in the early stages of dating, intimacy is founded on knowing and being known...no gimmicks no covers..just being yourself...

it really sets me wondering if i got issues with myself? i know u have been open & honest with me now..sometimes i can't help it though because i know u are someone who will not tell me things thinking it is for my benefit..sets me worried whether you will lie to me..i rather know that u don't want to tell me the truth than hear a lie...perhaps i must learn to trust your response more and not lean towards my own intuition...nothing beats having u in my life...

support

i know u r really vexed with your work, i'll try my very best to help..i'm just worried my best is not good enough as it is not my forte when it comes to that topic...but i feel bad that when u actually come to me for a solution i can't give it to u...it upsets me in a way seeing u so stressed...now the least i can do is to give u my morale support, which i hope it good enough..

at times when you are misbehaving it really gets on my nerves...don't let it get out of hand alright? i really enjoy your company with you being yourself :)

fantastic movie...most of all thanks to my dearest bb who accompanied me to

watched this show despite her knowing she might have to watch it again to fufil her obligations...didnt really see eye to eye with her abt the whole thing of watching it twice...but i guess, sometimes u gotta do what u gotta do....i'd love u to carry on meeting your friends and such, but of all i appreciate the amount of priorities i possess over anything else....

been partying too much this weekend...i'm exhausted and tired...gotta watch out on the amount of parties cause exams round the corner, its time to pull up those socks of mine...

letting go

A virtue i used to possess by lost along the way somehow...perhaps through the turmoil and battles i've experienced..there is a real need re-inculcate the act of forgivness... it is much stronger, not to mention much wiser, than vengeance or retribution...i really need this for myself

forgiveness is not a sweet old lady but a strong, seasoned veteran of many wars.....forgiveness bears a greater burden than vengeance ever could....vengeance lets hatred rule you....forgiveness overrules hatred....it is not only stronger... it is also much more clever and wise than vengeance or retribution.....forgiveness takes intelligence, discipline, courage and persistence and special psychological strength...

What does it mean to give up the title to anger and resentment or to refuse to live under their rule?

guess it means setting free from those feelings....no longer letting those feelings own me..when i feel hatred start to take me in its grip, i need to step out...lift it off...renounce it...perhaps channeling it onto love might be a better solution..i hope i'm up to it... in order to improve my own life...

"forgiveness is not something we do for other people. we do it for ourselves to get well and move on"

crossroads

everyone faces the same dilemma all the time...when we come to a junction without knowing what the different roads will lead to...i chose to walk back the path i came from, but this time i already know the bumps along the way...though i may be cautious, but i'm moving alot faster now...need to listen to my inner self because at the end of the day there is no one else i need to answer to except for myself...

the past week started off really low and ended with a very high note..17/5..happy birthday b..
its an amazing feeling to be able to feel good again...sank real deep into sadness and depression, overwhelmed myself with pessimistic grooves...but in the end it was my own feelings i succumbed to...the magical feel of embracing u close to my chest and feeling your heart beating so close to mine...things are looking up now..feels like i'm being with someone who'll share, someone whom understands and gives in return after taking...

sincerely hope we'll be able to pull through...there is no more turning back now...perhaps the next time we come to a crossroad, we might just take different paths instead of walking back together from where we came from...

what makes people dearer is not just the happiness that you feel when you meet them...but the pain felt when you miss them...

..........

i'm puzzled...losing my senses...where's my ever reliable abilities to judge?? i didnt take away your happiness with me, it got lost even before i left u..do u really want to hear that from me? i'm tempted to make things up...but i'm just too fearul of whats to come...i've fallen again and again...scars and bruises everywhere i see...its heart ripping to be on the edge all this time...i miss u...but i just dont know if patching up will be any different....what makes it different this time??...i just want to be myself now, that just seems so hard to do....

limits

feels like its been going at an accelerated pace...to think that everything happened so fast...time just slips away whithout knowing...passes so fast that i'm able to think back on events and wonder the decisions made...should be looking forward by now..near the point at which something begins to take effect or be noticeable? thresholds?.....

i will be more than willing to hear u out anytime...but i won't know unless u tell me...i know you r tired, so am i...u said u understand now the feeling i had..not wanting anything else anymore...dun sink into depression..remember life isnt about surviving the storm, but to be able to dance in the rain...

questions

last night went out for dinner and drinks..followed by verandah...my soft spot for her....can't help but to agree that she is associated with comfort and warmth...i'm glad that i can still receive it now..perhaps its just too convenient for us to look for one another...if it was back home probably things might be different..

i'm really glad to see her being herself now...at least i know the breakup made her realise things she never knew...now she's finding herself again...i wish her all the best

questions that everyone may not have answers to...there must be a reason for things happening..the ultimate question of "why" occurs...maybe when i don't try so hard to seek the truth life may be easier...

feeling disconnected with my mates from home...the very people i look to share my ups n downs...my best friends...really miss them...hope everyone's doing well...there's only been a small handful of people who have made it to a special place in me...these are the ones i will treasure for life..thank u all for being in my life...

help

felt helpless in that moment...like everyone's gone...there's just no one around for me to go to....eventually i decided to look for her...honestly i didnt want to pick up her call when she called back...but in a way i'm glad i did..actually found comfort when i needed it..though it didnt really solve the problem but..thank u for being there...

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child...and non matter how old i am, i am always her son..her child....u werent there for me during my younger years, i never once blamed u for it, in fact that was wad made me grow to become the person i am now...

finale?

another long conversation...more issues brought up...i hope this is the final draw...i've made my stand as clear as i ever could..i will always have a place for u in me..as my special friend....no one knows what the future holds, perhaps we'll cross paths again..but for now...i just need to be alone...

life's ironic...our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss...is this a new beginning?

accident or intentional?

there are time when i wish i didnt know things...the type of information u just wished u would rather not know of...would make life easier to go by..

received a call that wasnt meant for me, overheard a conversation that does not involve me...things happen for a reason..and i never knew i was erased from her phone just becuz she could rem my num..would u do that to someone u treat as a friend? perhaps not..

i'm starting to wonder if she has really moved on...if my prediction is true, things will have to be dealt with differently..it can't be a case when 1 party thinks of being nothing but being friends and the other is feeling the urge to get back together..

made my stand clear but yet emotions could have gotten the better of her...she's just too young to deal with it i guess...always thinking she would have gone through enough for someone of her age to handle many issues, but when i always pull her back to reality she wont accept it...

it'll be totally disasterous and ugly if i really need to cut off all ties...i really wish things do not go to that extent..

sustainability

at last there is some progress on workload...some is better than none...i need to get thru the week and survive early next week...damm its tiring...really gotta hang on for life...

been feelin unhealthy lately, feels like i'm shrinking in size due to lack of workouts...going for a brutal routines in my workout now, gotta get back in shape...looking good is not the point, its more abt feeling good...perhaps thats the reason why pple sign up for gyms and stuffs...besides exercising is just to feel good abt themselves..personally, gyms or fitness classes are good to have, but without 1 a good workout can be accomplished as well...all boils down to self discipline

on the verge of recovery...flu has been bugging everyone lately, can't believe WHO raised alert levels to maximum of 6 now...watching news makes me think of some movie where pple get into suits and labs working on virus vaccines...hope the world doesn't get any worser..

looking forward

another long vicious day...i hate to drag myself up in the mornings to head to uni...hate to end the day knowing nothing much has been done despite the efforts...when can i at least feel more relieved?

went for drinks after a long day...felt good being able to relate to her again...think she will really make a good friend of mine..well at least i know i'm not expecting things to happen for now...this is the her i should have been seeing, one who is true n sincere in front of me...honestly i enjoyed her company alot..i'm talking to someone real now..

looking forward to my little excursion next week...think it'll be a great trip to get my mind away...from the way things r going it appears that we can pull off the trip without any problems...i made it clear i'm not misleading her in any way...guess she really comprehends my intentions now..

fatigue

been at uni since 10am and only to end the day at 9pm...yet productivity levels were outrageously low...at this rate, i doubt i'll do well in any of the events to come next week be it the test or any of the assignments..only comfort was the results of 1 previous assignment...definitely gave me some glimmer of hope..but not enough to cover for whats to come...

she was honest with me last night..thought it did get on my nerves..i truly appreciated the honesty..but its too late to turn back the clock and trying to deduce what could have been done...you are reverting back to being yourself now, it just too bad this did not occur when we were an item...otherwise it may just work out well...eventually only you have the answers to these riddles...perhaps if the split didn't occur, you may never be yourself too?..i'm really glad that u r better off now...this helps me move on as well...
at least i hope we can maintain as friends....


received a call from a friend who always looked up to me as a big brother, i'll give her the support as always like she's my little sister...i'm really sorry to hear about what happened to her mother...my deepest condolences extends to her family..may her mum rest in peace in a better place...life is really fragile and precious..

emotional lockdown

so much has been going on lately, somehow it just doesn't feel like it's going to stop...feeling trapped, something's constantly in my head, just don't know what is it yet...what is missing in my life now? i seem lost..clouded..bringing this upon myself? too many questions to answer...they say time heals wounds..do they??

been through enough relationship rollercoasters in my life and yet i still can't get a grip on myself.. did i just make the biggest mistake by letting her go?

when will i find the one??