Incompetence?

life itself is a tough journey on its own, so why should we make it even more difficult for ourselves? by letting the demons inside us ride over our common sense always seems to be the easy way out, because to some it just seems to make more sense to feel dismay rather than enjoying the harmonious time... when that happens, a gruesome round of emotional carnage kick starts...end state will always be putting the ones around u in similar if not worser distress...then again we are all human, there will be times when pessimism gets the better of us...and no matter how much effort is expended to curb that discomfort, it never seems good enough...incompetence i say? on who's part? to allow 'it' to become a habitatual character or my failure to give enough comfort? so what is it that can be found from others and not me? it just seems to boil down to one conclusion...
I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH..

sometimes love just ain't enough
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMwZcuHbch0
Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.

And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
And there's no way homewhen it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.

Billy Joel - And So It Goes

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows.

Forbearance

am i really losing my patience? this virtue that i always thought i have embedded within me..a trait of my personality which hasn't really failed me up to this far...and now it seems that it is getting me into all sorts of issues, inner demons taking its toll on me?...am i really wearing thin or am i driven so? questions flood my mind once again..all sorts of crazy questions to which the answers i don't wish to hear, it might just stir more negative emotions...no matter how much i try it never seems enough...like an never ending avalanche crashing down...

Pleasant Suprise

It was truly a blasting birthday suprise last night...its been a long time since i celebrated my birthday with my close friends around...it was beyond awesome...there was nothing i wanted more than to see the people i grew up around with being around for my birthday...the best gift i could ever get...

credit goes to the people who made it happen, my closest buddies zz and sr...thank u both...most of all my dearest and sweetest baby...your efforts i've seen and acknowledge...thank u so much my lovely bb...i don't need any gifts at all cause u already gave me the best possible present, love u so much!...thank u all once again...

Happy Birthday

to me a birthday is just like any other day, it is the day my mother endure the pain so as to bring me into this world...when mum asked me what i wanted for my birthday, my reply was i don't need any material gifts or presents from her, because she already gave me the best present anyone could receive..she gave me life...thank you mum

youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art...growing old is inevitable...with age comes different types of responsibilities and issues to deal with..hopefully i'll be ready when the challenges come in due time...

many thanks to all my dear friends and family who bother to drop me a birthday message...perhaps not all of them actually remember it, but the notion of sending me their wishes means alot to me..

thank u bb, i know that my birthday means alot to u, but like i said, it doesnt need to be special occasions for us to be nice or nicer to one another, every other day should be like birthdays :) i'm just glad to have u with me...love u lots..